Back to Therapy, But Reimagined

Three years ago, I deactivated my therapy license and left the field.

I had been in the space for 5 years at that point, and had experienced the highs of highs and lows of lows.

I witnessed couples work really hard to prevent divorces and cycle-breakers do what seemed impossible to leave a different legacy for their lineages.

I had a front row seat to humanity’s capacity for change, and bearing witness to that made me feel unstoppable and hopeful for the future.

I also felt deeply let down and betrayed by a system I (naively) thought cared about the people it served, but was really a vehicle for harm.

I was enraged by organizational policies and therapeutic modalities that kept people and communities further oppressed, and the colleagues and academic institutions that enforced it.

The realization of belonging to a system that was fundamentally violent was overwhelming, so I initially turned to colleagues and professional communities for a life raft. I was desperately longing for a community that mirrored what I was experiencing with radical honesty, people who could say, I see you. You’re not crazy. I’m just as lost, let's find our way together.

But in searching for belonging, I made a disturbing discovery: the therapy space operates more like a cult than a professional field.

Instead of the vulnerability and validation I was looking for, I found group think, insularity, and therapists who openly shamed and judged other therapists for questioning the status quo.

At first I was shocked and angry but then I realized the system was working as it was designed, keeping practitioners distracted and disconnected from their humanness so that they would stay in line, overworked and underpaid, and perpetuating outdated programming.

Like most cults, there is abuse, and I quickly realized that I was looking for support in people who were trying to survive their own instances of abuse.

To complicate things further, I was coming into the deepest parts of my own spiritual development and lineage during a time when mixing spirituality and psychology was taboo.

I felt so lonely. So, so alone.

But I knew I was right in my thinking and desire to have a different experience.

So, like other instances in my life, I turned my anger and disappointment into action and I set out to forge my own path. 

I built a 6-figure practice with a 100+ person waitlist in under a year, and then started teaching and coaching other therapists on how to do the same. 

I became very successful very quickly, and publicly, and so many people were so happy for me. I received countless private messages from therapists who were inspired by what I was doing.

And, I also received a lot of hate from my peers. 

I had a (ex)friend from almost 2 decades, who also happened to be a therapist, tell me that I didn’t deserve to be more successful than her because she had more years in the game.

I was called a sell out to my face by a therapist of color for not devaluing my work.

I had my intellectual property, both social media content and parts of my group coaching program curriculum, stolen by other therapists.

Many colleagues smiled in my face but secretly hoped I'd fail because my success created a form of collective discomfort that threatened the status quo. It forced them to confront their own unexamined dysfunction and the systemic stagnation they'd grown comfortable avoiding.

Their desire for my failure wasn't just about jealousy, but about avoiding the uncomfortable personal transformation that’s embedded in professional work

It hurt, but I kept going because I had a purpose. I felt like I was really creating the change I wanted to see.

And I did.

But I eventually ran out of steam because my drive was driven by a deep grief I didn’t know was taking root in my heart. 

I didn’t realize it then, but deactivating my license and leaving the field was more of a response to many personal and professional traumatic experiences I had as a therapist. 

I fled because I didn’t feel safe.

Leaving the field was one of the most liberating experiences I’ve had in my entire life. Beyond a big F you to the system that had harmed me, I felt like I had reclaimed my power, like I took back what was stolen from me.

I took all my training and expertise, and pivoted to coaching. I thought I’d sail into the sunset doing coaching work and living my best life, but Spirit had other plans.

Turns out that choosing to leave would become the biggest personal and spiritual initiation to date.

Without all the pressure, rules and expectations that came with a license and title, I was free to meander in the waters of my being. I hadn’t been able to do that. Ever.

I discovered parts of me that I’d never met, which enraged me further because I would’ve liked to know them sooner.

I went through countless cycles of death and rebirth, each layer revealing more of my true essence until I stepped fully into my sovereignty.

It wasn’t easy.

There were long periods of time that I didn’t recognize myself. I tried to distract myself but that was futile, and really an attempt to feel in control. I had no choice but to dive deeper into surrender. 

I faced the intense rage and deep sadness I felt about being sold a dream as a therapist, and alchemized it into wisdom and strength. I also had the opportunity to unfurl into my spiritual gifts, which came with some of the most intense shadow work I’d ever done.

For spiritual development to take root, it demands that you be naked, raw, and not chained to titles and letters before or after our names. Antithetical to the material and achievement-driven focus of capitalism, spiritual development required me to be willing to trade what “I’d worked so hard for” for a remembering of who I’ve always been. 

It was at once excruciatingly painful and profoundly exhilarating.

Btw, having this experience as I entered the portal that is middle age added to the intensity and wtf-ness of this time…but I digress.

At the top of the year, I started to think about providing therapy again. It seemed “out of nowhere,” but that’s how intuition and Spirit work. The guidance is usually a gentle, loving whisper that leaves clues on your highest path.

Initially, I was startled by this thought because I thought I was done with this path, but then it all made sense. 

Astrologically speaking, with Pluto in Aquarius, a return felt like a cosmic invitation to radical transformation. 

This transit is about dismantling outdated systems and reimagining institutional structures from the ground up. Where I once sought to disrupt from the outside, I now understand my role is to catalyze change from within. 

Pluto in Aquarius demands nothing less than a complete reinvention of how we approach healing, community, and collective consciousness.

A return to therapy didn’t feel like just a personal choice, but in alignment with a larger collective call to break free from constraining paradigms and birth new, more liberatory ways of supporting human growth.

Now I return, not as the same practitioner who left, but as someone who's been through the fire and knows exactly what breaks and what heals. When I left I was in pieces, and now I’m whole, ready to do this work differently.

I bring with me:

• A deep commitment to healing that transcends traditional therapeutic boundaries

• An unwavering dedication to challenging oppressive systemic narratives

• A spiritual and clinical approach that honors the full complexity of human experience

• The wisdom gained from walking away and choosing to return on my own terms

This return is also a collective invitation to catalyze change. Here are some thoughts on how I plan to do that:

• Mentoring emerging therapists who are committed to radical, compassionate healing

• Developing innovative approaches that integrate spiritual wisdom with clinical expertise

• Creating community spaces where practitioners can share, grow, and support each other authentically

• Working with clients who understand what’s at stake in breaking intergenerational cycles and shifting their entire lineages

• Continuing to dismantle outdated therapeutic paradigms while building more holistic, empowering models of care

To those who are ready to do deep, meaningful work… 

Who are seeking more than surface-level healing… 

Who are prepared to be witnessed in their full, messy, beautiful humanity…

This is an invitation. 

Not just to healing, but to revolution. 

I am here.